RIVERDALE SEASON 3: ORGAN THIEVERY IS BIG BUSINESS!

To say that the season finale of Riverdale was eventful is an exercise in understatement.

So suspend your disbelief and hold on to your beanie: Season 3 of Riverdale is off the rails…

Not only did we get a resolution of the Black Hood and Gargoyle King storylines, Penelope Blossom established herself as the show’s primary antagonist, Alice’s true intentions with The Farm were revealed, Hiram began a quest of vengeance against his family, Betty lost a father and gained a step-brother, Cheryl was reunited with Jason (well, sorta) and, most importantly, a Lost-esque flash-forward illustrated how brutal the future will be for Archie, Veronica, Betty, and Jughead.

ARCHIE’S PAST IS ALL SET OUT:

After a season spent narrowly averting death, the finale saw Archie experiencing the closest thing he has had to peace since the show began. He and Veronica have declared their love again.

But there will doubtlessly be more obstacles thrown in their path in the episodes to come, for now, though they feel more “endgame” than ever.

Another factor in Archie’s newfound contentment is being able to legally take ownership of the El Royale. After getting cleared of his murder rap, he really found himself in the boxing ring…ironic seeing how he was initially forced into fighting by Warden Norton while imprisoned.

THE LOSS OF LUKE PERRY:

Unfortunately, a real-world tragedy impacted the production of Riverdale.  Luke Perry’s death in March left a crater in the series that can not be fully filled, especially for those who have come to know and love the actor as the caring Fred Andrews on Riverdale. In the dark world of the CW show, Luke’s character remained positive and fiercely loyal and he will be missed.

The last couple of episodes had Perry’s Fred Andrews character away on business. Since Luke most likely didn’t finish filming his scenes, the writers will probably have to explain Fred’s sudden disappearance near the end of season 3. Roberto revealed to Entertainment Tonight that the show will acknowledge Luke’s death through his on-screen character. For the time being, however, no official decisions have been made as to how this will be done.

The most pragmatic way to deal with this situation is to have Fred pass away off screen, with Molly Ringwald coming on to the series full-time as Mary Andrews. She would fill the role of confidant for Archie, and help keep him grounded as any parent can, and as the character faces whatever the writers throw at him next. (Poor Archie! Which hopefully won’t include more bear attacks.)

THE FARM:

In a season filled with Gargoyle Kings, drug rings, and juvie, it is easy to forget about The Farm, the creepy cult embraced by Polly and Alice Cooper that slowly has been taking over Riverdale.

The show had to eventually reach a “cards on the table” point with The Farm plotline,  and the show’s writers finally revealing the totality of the group’s evil doings. We all knew something messed-up was going down at The Farm, but “black-market organ harvesting under the guise of New Age faith-healer nonsense” is an impressively out of the blue spanner (the audience never expected, Edgar wanting your kidneys!)

We know they’ve been brainwashing, ritually drowning, pretty average cult stuff, but there has to be a point to all their manipulation. They talk a big game about utopia, about launching a revolution amongst themselves, but it always comes down to the same old shit: money, sex with younger women, or indulgence of violent impulses.

If they’re (the Farm) is building a new world, it’s one in which they’re allowed to get away with anything.

Edgar Evernever, the charismatic leader of The Farm, played by Chad Michael Murray, so we know we can expect sex appeal as well as the fact that Edgar probably won’t be the nicest man (One Tree Hill and Gilmore Girl fans know what I’m talking about). But for all his seductive ideas and comforting words and inhumanly defined abs, he is just another grifter trying to squeeze some cash out of the gullible.

He’s got a talent for identifying someone’s weakest spot, instantly honing in on Betty’s shadow-self and letting her do the rest of the mental legwork while trapped in hypnosis.

Once he’s got a person destabilized and wracked with emotional pain, he transmutes that into physical pain, which can be removed with a simple, deeply invasive medical procedure. It’s a well-oiled machine of deception and highly lucrative predation. If Betty’s piece of this season could be busted out of the series and reshaped into its own movie, it’d work just fine.

For those worried that the show was going to stretch a little too far into Sabrina-territory by reviving the dead, you may now untwist your beanies. Jason Blossom hasn’t been revived. He was, however, grave robbed and brought to The Farm to serve Edgar Evernever’s purposes.

THE GARGOYLE KING?

It turns out Hal didn’t kill Chic back in the woods last year. Instead, he saw a bit of himself in him and took him on as a pupil. When Hal was arrested, Chic was lost, but there was a nurturing mother figure to take him in: Penelope Blossom. Crazy poison lady took him in, dyed his hair red, started calling him Jason and slapped a Gargoyle costume on him.

So, the Gargoyle King was having his strings pulled by Penelope the whole time, but why? Pretty solid reasons so far as serial killer puppeteers go. The town of Riverdale watched Penelope be sold to the blossoms and then married into them. They did nothing. They kept living their happy, picket-fence lives while she was abused. Then again, this is also the woman who sent her daughter to conversion therapy, so, maybe it’s time to kill the witch after all.

While the big four have their big night, The Farm’s got itself in a tangle. Penelope coming to buy an unconscious Betty and all of the organ stock makes Edgar realize that it’s time to get out of Dodge.

He tells the Farmies that it’s time for them to ascend, but Alice decides to actually be a mom for once and tells him that she’s worried about Betty. Some twists and lies later, Alice is helping Cheryl and Juniper get out to find Betty. I’d be remiss if I didn’t take a moment to acknowledge Riverdale’s favorite bombshell’s progress over the last couple of episodes.

She selflessly saves Toni, and even tries to ensure she gets Kevin and Fangs out before fleeing. The latter doesn’t work, but that’ll come up in a few.

Free of The Farm, Cheryl joins Toni, The Pretty Poisons, and The Southside Serpents on mission Save Friends from Psycho Mom (and Dad, actually). Each of the four is faced with a task. Archie must fight a bear man, his task is, appropriately, the simplest of the four.

Veronica has to play Russian Roulette with poison, and her best friend must join. This means that Betty essentially has two tasks, one of which she has to complete while poisoned because Penelope lied and all of the goblets contained it. Jughead must fight Chic and, finally, Betty must choose between shooting her father or Hal killing all of her friends.

If you were waiting for Betty’s “dark side” to win over, this ain’t your episode.

Betty does shoot her dad, but not fatally. Penelope handles that moments later, though. Furious that her lover couldn’t get the job done with a bunch of kids, she offs Hal and sends her Gargoyle army to kill the four. She wasn’t quite banking on the kids having an army of their own.

The Poisons and Serpents win the day, Betty and Veronica get the antidote, Hal’s dead, Chic’s in custody, and Penelope Blossom escapes. All in all, not too bad a day in Riverdale, but there’s still one more mystery to solve.

Once the battle’s over, the kids rush to The Farm to find Alice and Polly. Instead, they find a distraught Kevin amidst a bunch of empty Farmie clothes. He tells them that they’ve all ascended, and that someone had to stay behind to tell the tale.

Look forward to more broken and broody Kevin next season, folks!

Oh, and one final question: Would Riverdale ever kill off Jughead?

The final of Riverdale was fantastic TV viewing at it’s finest. The episode had everything:  brutality, violence, compassion, shock-value, blood and an ending to the series.

As that mystery winds down, things are finally looking up for this sleepy town—which for three years now has faced an unprecedented rash of serial killers, corruption, and general shenanigans. Or at least, things were looking up before the episode’s final moments. In a flash forward to next year’s spring break, we see Betty, Archie, and Veronica standing around a campfire, semi-naked covered in blood, and clutching Jughead’s beanie.

Obviously, we’re meant to wonder if this means Jughead is toast come next season—but is there even the slightest chance

Season 4, roll on with all of your devious glory!

5/5 STARS