If you ever wanted to watch Jason Statham fight a giant shark – and you know you have –

There’s been plenty bad reviews coming from the deep, deep, deep reviews, with Jason Statham’s new movie, The Meg. If you ever wanted to watch Jason Statham fight a giant shark – and you know you have – then The Meg is for you…

If you do not like giant sharks, or the Stath, then this film is not for you!

Just imagine, watching a David Attenborough nature documentary on the creature known as the Stath, better known by its full name, the Gravel-Throated muscle-bounded Ass-whooper, or, by its Latin name, Jason Statham. The Stath has been captured on film before, many times, mainly on land, in the air. However, it’s always exciting to see this most enticing of creatures up close.

ABOVE: The Stath in its natural habitat.

Now, if we’re very quiet, and we make no sudden moves, we might get a glimpse of one of the natural world’s most singular creatures … yes, yes, there it is: the Stath!

After hick-ups in development hell, the film has gone through directors, stars, budget restraints, location swaps like buckets of chum.

Finally, the creature feature is directed by Jon Turteltaub. The Meg is based on the natural history textbook of the same name by Steve Alten. The film focuses primarily on Megalodon, a giant prehistoric predator long thought extinct, which rises from the deepest reaches of the ocean to threaten mankind. Utilising pioneering camera techniques, the documentary weaves an enjoyable narrative around the underwater encounters between Megalodon and Statham, leaving nature-lovers thrilled and entertained.

The Meg stars Jason Statham as Jonas Taylor, a deep sea rescue expert called out of retirement to rescue his ex-wife from a unique underwater disaster. She’s trapped at the bottom of the Marianas Trench which, it turns out, was deeper than anyone ever realized. And what’s worse, she’s being attacked by a giant prehistoric shark called a Megalodon.

There’s not much to the plot of The Meg. Jason Statham comes to the rescue but the Megalodon escapes into the rest of the ocean and starts biting everything in sight.

For a movie about Jason Statham fighting a giant killer shark, The Meg takes itself surprisingly seriously. The filmmakers use a lot of dialogue to explain every scientific detail, and by the time we see the beast, Culturedemandsgeeks are suddenly throwing our hands up, and admitting the movie is… plausible.

Jason Statham doesn’t get to fist-fight as many sharks as we might like, but he’s completely at home in this material. And when Statham finds himself swimming in the middle of the ocean, less than one hundred feet from a ticked off Megalodon, and racing that titanic fish to a little boat that’s probably not safe anyway, it’s filmed with real intensity.

The billionaire financing the expedition, Morris (Rainn Wilson), sums him up perfectly: “He looks heroic and he walks fast, but he’s got kind of a negative attitude.” Statham’s default grimness helps The Meg get away with some truly ridiculous events, because it looks as though he half-expected them to happen.

Dwarfing the jaws of modern-day sharks, Megalodon proves unafraid of man, attacking submarines and underwater research stations. However, the Stath is a territorial creature that resists Megalodon’s predatory advances in order to protect weaker creatures, mainly humans.

Part of the attraction is the Stath doesn’t feel threatened by strong females, allowing itself to be assisted in the battle against the Meg by capable females of the species, Li Bingbing and Ruby Rose.

Li Bingbing is particularly fantastic as Suyin, a deep sea expert who develops a playful, sparring relationship with Jason Statham. She’s heroic and she has a sense of humor and she’s a good mom and she has a natural romantic chemistry with him. They are absolutely charming together,

As with many strong organisms, the Stath also attracts other creatures. In this case, Rainn Wilson provides several moments of levity and comical effect. Each of the other supporting cast featured play their part in the delicate ecosystem, although viewers may tire of the antics of some of the lesser organisms. Fortunately, the Stath remains the star of the show.

FINAL VERDICT:

Jon Turteltaub’s The Meg is a fun giant killer shark movie, and a solid, action romp. Memorably meaty sequence unfolds with whales being bitten in half, billionaires getting chomped, and in a beach resort so crowded with bathers in rubber rings, the sea looks like a giant bowl of Fruity Cheerios. The Meg rocks up to the breakfast buffet, chomping through jet skis and a panicking man in a zorb.

But the screenplay feels as though it was assembled from an action-movie dialogue bingo card. In the first 10 minutes alone we get “There’s something out there!”, “Oh my God!”, “We got this!” and “What have you done?”.

The film certainly gets its money’s worth out of the monster shark – we get numerous thrilling shots of it hurtling towards the camera with the voracious, dead-eyed determination.

Jason Statham is perfect for the material, though, the shark attacks are entertainingly broad, and the supporting cast, plus Kiwi, Cliff Curtis, brings personality to the otherwise straightforward script.

4/5 STARS